Never gone

Sometimes it seems as if the magic of life is gone forever. It just doesn’t show up for you anymore, it’s like it has forgotten you or like you used it up, it leaves you empty and dull. And then you starve, you long for it, you feel like you can’t go on without it. It’s hard to live without something that has become so dear to you. So you keep going as best as you can, feeling more like a zombie that’s crawling through a tunnel, hoping to find the light again. You look for this certain kind of magic that passes all understanding, you know it must still be there, maybe even in the darkness, but you just can’t feel it. Days, weeks, months pass, and nothing happens. Until the time has come, a moment when you didn’t expect it, when you weren’t thinking about the absence of what you were longing for. Boom, there it is, overwhelming you gently. And it might not stay for long, it might not be stable, but it’s happening again. Like a snippet that says: Hello, I’m still there, I haven’t abandoned you, my love. I’m never not there. How could you forget that?